Way back when I used to live in a third world country, nothing was too uncommon, just like Chikunguya. It is such a horrible infection. Headaches, fevers, and the worst joint pain you will ever experience are the main symptoms, or at least that’s what I’ve heard. I could see people walking around in a quirky manner, thanks to the infection, even months after it was gone. I was lucky enough not to get Chikunguya, but not lucky enough to avoid contracting other fun stuff.

   Zika, sounds fun, doesn’t it? Well, the deadly mosquito did not forgive me, not even twice. For every american that I’ve talked to about it, they look at me surprised, with the eyes of a 12 year old that just learned that Santa Claus is, in fact, not real. It might be the culture, maybe it’s the better health care, or even the dollars!? I don’t know what it is, but Zika just twists all the American stomachs.

    And you know what else twists? Me and the needle inside my arm, like it was some kind of snake mating ritual. But before I get too far ahead, I should tell you more about how it all started,

    Oh… that fun pre-Zika afternoon. 

    Friendship was blooming, like a nice rosy rose, which will eventually die because she does NOT APPRECIATE YOUR FRIENDSHIP… but that’s for another story. 

   Well, that day was a little different, even if we don’t take the high fever into count: I was hanging out with a friend! And of course, Zika quietly spreading inside me. 

   That warm afternoon was already amazing, and you know it’s true because my friend and I were at the point where we didn’t want to talk anymore.  So, we obviously resorted to watching videos. I remember feeling well, but slowly becoming colder and colder. I felt so tired, almost like that time at church. My eyelid shutting, they are heavy. Oh god, it was awful. But continuing with the fiver, I started to boil from the inside out. My eyes got red and watery. And after watching the videos, I was, almost, officially dead. She left right after my horrendous fever started. I think her mom still  hates me, for putting her precious child at risk of being able to tell such an awesome, just like I’m doing now! Poor kid, she didn’t get as lucky as me.

Right after that, all the funky fun started,

   My mom took me to a lot of hospitals, they did several blood tests, and I missed many assignments, yay! But I don’t remember much of the agony because I felt miserable, I was basically a hopeless dirt-worm. Yet, this day, oh this day, it’s there, stuck in my head. 

    My lovely aunt and I were waiting for me to get a blood sample. I am obviously terrified of needles, but at that point, I had given up. The Nurse called next, and lucky me, I was next!

    She does all the normal stuff, rolls up my sleeve, puts a band around my left arm, and hits my forearm with her fingers, trying to make my baby veins pop out. She puts the needle in. At this point, I’m about to break my aunts hand, but she is fine with. She was very nervous, even more than me. She was telling how everything was going to be OK, I was fine. Then the nurse informs me that she can’t find my vain. WONDERFUL. I take a deep breath, thinking in my dump little mind, that she was going to try again with my right arm, but reality hits me like that kickball punched me in the face in 4th grade. She starts to make a smoothie out of my blood and muscles, well, maybe not that graphic but that’s how I felt. I try to hold my tears back, clenching my jaw and moving my spine like a snake’s. I’m now being squeezed dry like a towel. The room was full of traumatized looks, thinking that this might be their faith.

   My aunt was sobbing in horror, crying, “Oh, my poor child!” I thought I was going to die. After minutes of suffering, the nurse finally got the blood she so thirsted, from the other arm. 

    Aside from that being a traumatic experience, Zika had it’s perks, in its own twisted way. 

But, do know what was the best part of having Zika? Was it missing school? No. Maybe eating all the food I’ve ever wanted? Well yes… but actually no. It has to be the long naps and not being able to move much because of possible paralysis!? That too, but there is something even better. I know, you’re all asking me with deep confusion, “But Nataly, what can better than long naps!?” I’ll just look at you right in the eye and shush you with my pinky finger,. “Let me tell you, my child.” I’ll say.

It was colors, and figures, and walls moving, and laughing, and sparkles, and water dripping down my face slowly, and fingers against the wall, dragging and playing the funnest game of them all, the “I literally can’t remember and it doesn’t make any sense” game. Oh, that “nothing can touch me, I’m invincible” kind of feeling, it was just like a psychedelic trip in a bathtub full of liquid LSD, not like a would know. But yes, those hallucinations of horrifically high fevers, that could actually kill you, are the best! Because there is nothing like getting high from a virus, am I right, guys? Well… no, please don’t try it at home, definitely not at work, not even school, and don’t even think about the public restrooms, maaaybe a hospital, but definitely never at home, your family will look at you weird, just like mine did! Fun for you, definitely not for them. Ah… those highs and lows of a fever hallucination addiction.
Well, back to my original point, yes, it was fun. No, it was no longer fun when I woke up. My mom says I was speaking plain gibberish and English (which I really didn’t know much at the time). In my head, I was playing this very trippy game about geometry, and I was very frustrated, I couldn’t figure it out! Very weird, I know. And of course everyone present (which were only three people, my mom, the cleaning lady and her little daughter) were trembling in their boots, terrified that I would stay like that forever, which now that I look back at it, I think the demon that possessed me that day actually stayed. That would explain a lot :).

After that trip, I woke up in my living room covered in cold sweat. I was steaming, my mom having breakdown, and the cleaning lady was… well, I can’t remember. The world was so blurry, and slow, and confusing, Just like that time I hit my face with a door and broke my upper lip. I think I passed out. My mom carried me out the front door, where her friend was waiting. They rushed me to the hospital. I was too tired to even care. After a very short drive for me, maybe not so for my mom, we got to the emergency room. My mom carried me, almost running. I remember it being full of sick kids, but none of them were hallucinating. There were so many people waiting to be called, they look sweaty and frustrated, I felt kind of bad, but I was too sick to feel bad.

After that dramatic scene of me being rushed in to the emergency room, I was in and out of conscience. I was a corpse, every part of me was stiff. My eyes were burning, and the intravenous was itching my arm, turns out I’m allergic to something in those evil things. 

But, yeah, I guess Zika was fun, right?