Hickory, sycamores
Shagbark and walnut
Sturdy strong and stiff

Swaying in the breeze, lifting leaves of fall
A foggy memory of my childhood
My whole life, in that damned house
Presently I feel fine, like I’ve forgotten.
The endless, unsupervised days outside.
Garden boxes with little, red, painted handprints are gone.
Remembering the days outside, contrasting to now.
Where I barely leave my room.
In the past, I would venture outside
An explorer
Escaping reality.
I remember
The creek,
The flaking blue paint on the deck posts
Plastic gardening tools
The no-trespassing signs
Abandoned junkyard, with rusty cars and trucks,
chock-full of old furniture
Animal prints in the mud,
the same mud that would speckle my legs and clothes,
Color of the tree bark and English breakfast, my hair and eyes.
Gillmering with the hardy rings of wood.
Stained shirt
After summer school, in the deep woods,
A wild child, that ran in streams and meadows,
Down into marshes and tall, whipping reeds
But a wild child can’t be wild or a child forever.
Stuck in school or the house,
Her memories flooded with the white cans with blue and gold letters
The scent of stale yeast filled her nose.
The mountain-high piles that towered over my head.
The staircase where my mother wept,
Small arms encasing her to console,
A role to fill, the protector.
A fighter, who wouldn’t back down.
When the stairs were remodeled, the carpet striped, furniture replaced and walls repainted.
Pain and grief, still stuck like spears in my soul.
Part of me that will always be broken.
A wild child alone in the trees,
Wild, wild eyes staring back at me,
Crazed and dim, With pain and pressure of a life
that never wished to live.
Clutching a can, like the last thing on earth.
After all the time passed, I still find myself stuck in the brush,
Back behind the hickories.