Headphones on, silent car, ready to just drift off into my thoughts for hours on my long car ride to virginia. What should I listen to? After looking over all my options on my playlist nothing sounds good to me. All of a sudden an overwhelming memory comes to my mind. One from when I was about 11 and had just gotten back into school from covid. Music class and our teacher was so excited to show us up and coming artists and to see how they create a whole career out of singing. I remember Ariana Grande and a few other artists. The one that really stood out to me in that moment though was billie eilish. The second I saw her music video in that class I was obsessed, I don’t know how I even fell off and stopped listening to her for that long. It was just what I needed to listen to.I go on spotify and see all her new songs from maybe the past 2 or 3 years and realize just how long it had been. I started to listen to every one of these songs, including the ones I already knew. I started to feel comfortable and remember why I loved her so much from such a young age.I could relate to every word I was hearing and her voice was just so beautiful. It was almost like each song had a different music style. One difference for everyone. Even though each song was different, one thing was common between them and I just couldn’t figure out what it was.
I search up the letters individually, B, i, l, l, i, e, space, E, i, l, i, s, h.
I could feel a slight adrenaline rush from being excited to feel the same as I did years ago. I just happened to see the first song is the one I had been introduced to the day I first heard her voice. It was the song Bad Guy, it’s just meant to be a goofy song but to me it was the start of comfort, this memory to me was a feeling of solace.