It was a long time ago. A time when a little fat child had a little blue swing set. He would swing back and forth, but maybe the little fat child was too fat for the little blue swing set. Or maybe it had uneven legs. Whatever it was, it was making the little blue swingset wobble. The little fat child would swing up, then come back down with a thump. Somewhere in or on the little blue swing set, there were little quick creatures who didn’t appreciate the little fat child swinging on the little blue swing set. They were annoyed and wanted revenge, so the little quick creatures made a plan to stop the little fat child. Their leader sent their best soldier, his name was Dan, the quickest of all the little quick creatures, to attack the little fat child. Dan was so excited that he couldn’t help but give a little villainous laugh, and he almost died because of it. He went to the little fat child and stabbed him! But since Dan was a lot tinier than the little fat child, it didn’t do much, but the little simple stab was a little bit extremely painful for the little fat child since he had such a little fragile body. And, of course, like all the other little fat children in America, the little fat child…cried. It was so upsetting! Fortunately for the little fat child, his mommy was a professional in the art of bandaging. He went inside with mommy, the professional bandage queen. And Dan, well, the little fat child doesn’t know what happened to him. Maybe he became the leader of the little quick creatures. Maybe he started a little simple stabbing career. Or maybe he died. Maybe the little simple stab killed him. Or maybe, it was his little villainous laugh.